Philosophy & Tech Chat over Dinner
Last weekend, I hosted a dinner with various friends that I know through an online subculture loosely defined as “postrationality.”
Homemade chili and lasagna! Yum.
Last weekend, I hosted a dinner with various friends that I know through an online subculture loosely defined as “postrationality.” What does this mean to the ordinary person? Well, we’re just a bunch of internet weirdos with a peculiar taste in philosophy who enjoy the company of other, similar weirdos. Nothing nefarious here!
Except this time, the dinner was different. It wasn’t organized (disorganized, really) through several back-and-forths of messages or texts in various group-chats and the like. I used an app, DinnerParty, to plan my event.
DinnerParty recommends having a featured guest for dinner. Would this be too serious for friends I knew casually? Given the title, “featured guest,” I took this to mean I should aim high in my search for such a guest. I invited someone with several thousands of followers on Twitter that my friends were either familiar with or fans of. Unfortunately, I found out she was leaving for California soon and I didn’t want to impose on her last minute.
Luckily, a few days later, my friend Graham, a writer and consultant at suspendedreason.com, was making a pass through town. He had been “on the road,” traveling throughout the world, for some years and I hadn’t seen him in a hot minute. Perfect! I knew exactly who to invite as a featured guest and I felt a lot more comfortable with the idea of hosting a formal dinner party — so comfortable, I decided to try hosting it at my new apartment as a housewarming. It could be a cozy gathering of friends and a celebration of multiple sorts.
I sent out invitations by Twitter, Facebook Messenger, and email, and I was pleasantly surprised with how many of my friends were quick to RSVP saying “yes” or “no.” My hunch is that something about the defined structure and intimacy — the limited available seats — of a DinnerParty invitation forces invited guests to take it seriously. It also saved everyone a lot of time!
As the night passed, the mood relaxed and I could tell everyone enjoyed this change from our usual shenanigans. Many of us work in tech yet maintain creative interests and passions. Being able to meet in this structured, small-group setting enabled a plethora of discussion. Topics of conversation ranged from different attitudes on the Ship of Theseus problems (Is the exact copy of a thing the same thing as the thing? Or, in our case, an exact copy of a mind), to collectively researching the best houseplants for air purification. Though these questions are shared by many or are silly, there’s still something valuable in being able to voice them among people you can trust to listen and engage in the right ways.
Cozy vibes and delightful company.
This night’s conversations particularly stuck out because of how fluidly they moved from topic to topic. In the past I have found that group interactions have easily devolved into detached, smaller conversations — not so dissimilar to how conversations are online on Twitter or Facebook. Or usually someone or one topic in particular can take clasp of the entire evening. Something about snuggling up cozily around a dinner table motivates folks to engage more thoughtfully. I can only wonder what role dinner parties and potlucks must have played in fostering communities throughout the ages and ask if some of this wonder has been lost in our digital age.
Sometimes, of course, there were awkward pauses in our conversations. Yet we all knew that Graham, our featured guest, could be our subject of inquiry. I believe this helped diffuse some of the apprehension people may have in meeting a mix of some old, but also some new, friends.
Ultimately, I think Graham was really happy to have been reunited with his friends and a sense of greater community in this way. We have even started talking about how I may get involved in an upcoming creative project of his, a conversation that took root during our gathering. I think DinnerParty is quite effective for mediating exactly these sorts of inspiring interactions and enduring connections which are otherwise hard to come by, especially today.